When things don't go 'As per the Plan!'

Nothing goes as per the plan. My friend with OCD didn't like the sound of that, but it is the truth. However organised we may be or however planned we expect things to turn out, they never happen to be the same. Remember, praying the other night that it doesn't rain tomorrow or your match would get postponed? Remember, telling yourself that the viva external wouldn't ask me those difficult questions everyone has heard he is asking them? Remember, making an office presentation overnight and the other day the office power suddenly went off while you were presenting it? We have all been there and done that. Normal situations we all came across. But how we reacted towards it mattered. The perception, the hope, the mindfulness, the analysis and the resilience we withheld in such overpowering situations mattered. There are no tips one can give for handling such a pressure situation. But there are certain measures that if we may obtain, chances are that we can come out of it with flying colors. Sitting in the park watching people go by, reading a book ironically named 'Thinking Fast and Slow', which is a remarkable best seller pictured around the corporate water filter gossip that goes around and how small decisions can leave bigger impacts. It talks of two systems i.e. the automatic or impulsive (fast mind) and the apprehensive or rational (slow mind). I decided to shut it down for a while and started to gulp into the character of it and 'think slow'. It felt as if people were going past me in slow motion and I could observe every inch of them. The lady with a kid in the pram walking past me with earplugs in her ears needless to observe her baby was feeling cold in that fancy red scarf she put on him just for the sake of it. The grey haired man with a stick in his hand, walking on the cemented path with his friends, not bothered about how he would manage to reach home before it gets dark. The young teen wearing a blue polka dot skirt with her beau having a time of her life, but with an apprehension in her eyes of being noticed by others in the park. The middle aged aunt with that grave expression on her face counting money on her fingertips probably trying to figure out the expenditures of the month ahead. And the 8 year old boy playing and jumping all over the park getting dirty in the mud unabashed by how his mother would react to his clothes. It was as if someone had pressed a pause button and I could notice the expressions people tried not to portray. Uncertain, that if they were as aware of their emotions as I was at that moment. Despite of all the conundrum we are surrounded by it's surprising how we still manage to work out a way at the end of it. Whether it is giving a great viva despite a strict external or easily managing the month ahead while we thought it would be one helluva task. We get over the situation and get stuck in a similar situation over and over again. Whether it is a nervous viva or a financially tight month end. Ever analysed how did that happen again? How did the things that were expected to fall into place suddenly dint go by smoothly? Nothing works out by itself. It takes the right kind of people, choices, actions and perceptions to work it out. May be we were thinking fast at that time. Had we slowed down, paused and re-winded the situation in our head we could have been in a better place. To err is human but to repeat it is stupid! We keep o thanking our stars that we got saved this time and the next time we will be careful. But we forget that it takes a real man to realize what went wrong and not repeat the same thing the next time. Maybe if you go through this article you get a knack of why things don't go 'as per the plan!'

The Void

At some point in life, we feel so dismantled and out of place that it's almost like we have entered into some void. It is as if someone has let loose of the noose that they had earlier held so tightly. We don't know which path to tread? We don't know whether this path would lead us where we want? We don't even know where do we exactly want to reach? We get up, eat, go to work or search for one, come back, eat, sleep and repeat. These years of 'struggle' can either make us or break us. Some of us may pull through while others may get shattered along the way. However we may be either brawny or  scrawny, with our loved ones or without them, either searching for work or working towards it, either happy or sad, we are NEVER content with where we are. If we are searching for work people don't just let us 'be', if we are working we might ourselves want to end up in a sabbatical. What's with us? What do we want?
This introspection needs to come now or sooner. It kills me while I read youngster's taking grave steps just because their circumstances were overpowering them and not conducive. Just because they had no one to speak with, just because they were having a really bad day, just because they broke up. Agreed, that we are born with a need to achieve, exert power and affiliate. But if any of these are amiss, we loose our equilibrium immediately. Situations then get the better of us. And the only thing that is so striking is how there has been this sudden shift in our priorities based on these needs. From how earlier, people had a stringent 'need to affiliate' while now there is this immense inclination towards 'power and achievement'. Being goal oriented is great but then ambitiousness is altogether different. I am not sure if we are aware of the thin line between the two. Even if we are the boundaries are becoming too hazy day by day. I am afraid they might just disappear. And it's not that there is a problem with why people are shifting priorities? I am no moral police in here! But it is definitely alarming how inhumane people are turning with this shift. They have no time to connect 'socially' although 'virtually', yes. Social media has become so overpowering that we hardly know what mood our fellow family member is in while we do know what status our colleague just posted. Money minting has become so jarring that we have almost forgotten we have a life outside it too. There are people we need to look after. People who have given us there valuable time. We migrate, we shift our bases altogether, we work like crazy, earn billions and what not. But what for? Those imaginary years that we are waiting for to spend it with the one's we care for may never even come. It is only NOW that we are in. Tomorrow holds no guarantee. Live in your 'NOW' and live it to the fullest, being sure of no regrets. The recent stats of lunacy have whooshed up like crazy. And it should ring a bell or it will be too late. Do not wait until it strikes you and then you end up doing something about it. Be receptive,be mindful and be aware of how people around you are, of whether they need to be listened to or talked about or if they are having a hard time or something to celebrate about. These are simple things in life that are not at all difficult nor time consuming, so just make sure you live every 'moment' that is happening NOW. And remember that the best things in life are never 'things'!

The Unprecedented!

Lately, I hung around with a bunch of teens, asking them about their mental health and the problems they face day in and out while they have just entered their teenage? Also how they deal with the social pressure combined with the academic stress that dawns upon them and still appear to be absolutely healthy? They answered, that it does disturb them and rattle them from their calm sometimes but they just manage. Perhaps, my question did ring a bell in one of those teens who questioned me back very politely, 'Mam while you were a teen how did you manage?'. I laughed, secretly thinking that I should humblebrag about it, but then I dropped the idea, looking at the innocent young boy's face who was seeking an honest answer. I said, in our times (although not that long back, but yeah quite some years ago) these issues were considered what we now consider as the 'first world problems' and he laughed. But seriously,not being able to manage problems of  our 'teenage' or maybe academics were not expected to be real problems in those times. It was rather considered to be histrionic. Not only our parents but friends, relatives and acquaintances believed that there was much more to life than to think of these meager issues. Recently though, these 'first world problems' have befitted to become the 'third world problems'! At least, that's what I've come to realize. And its not surprising at all. Intellectual health is stirring a storm among the masses in the recent times. People are becoming touchy of issues that din't bother them at all in the days bygone or it's just that they are becoming more mindful and expressive about their conceptual head-space. Which one is more suitable however is for you to decide and for me to ponder. It often intrigues me of how individuals have evolved over these years. And if it is for the better? These answers would take light years to become vivid though. Nevertheless, it is amazing how people are being outspoken about issues that affect them and that are unacceptable to them, irrespective of the irony of becoming an outlier. It's okay even if they are doing it for the sake of it. At least someone is taking a chance, which is great.
Some paths tread to nowhere absolutely, while some lead to places unforeseen. But the beauty lies in exploring the unprecedented. This is a strong schema I've always held in my head-space. Ironically though, being an 'outlier' is the new 'in', yet it has always been exhilarating for me to tread unacceptable paths. Wouldn't however be right to label it as a 'rebel' but surely I am insurgent of the fact's I don't believe in. Some aspects of life need to looked upon from a third person perspective and only then can they appear to be more rational. If all of us (including me) try and be objective of the situation and be intelligent enough to separate the person from the circumstance, then it might I believe sort out a lot cooking within ourselves and beyond.


'Cause some path's are meant to be hidden but some paths must be traveled to experience the beauty that lies ahead!'
#justsaying #2017vibes #bemindful #butnotjudgmental